The Parting of Ways
by Dragontreasure26
Summary: After the sanctified blood ritual successfully turns him back to human, Dean just wants Cas to stay with him the night. Rated M for Chapter 2.
1. The Parting of Ways

**Title:** The Parting of Ways

**Characters/Pairings:** Dean Winchester/Castiel, Sam Winchester, Hannah.

**Summary: **After the sanctified blood ritual successfully turns him back to human, Dean just wants Cas to stay with him the night.

**Warnings:** MxM pairing, spoilers for Supernatural season 9/10.

**Rating:** T

Dean panicked when Cas headed for the door of his room; the thought of being left alone after all that had happened filled him with dread. Cas's presence was comforting, the peaceful aura the Angel naturally seemed to fill the room with calmed him and just looking at him was distraction enough – the man was truly beautiful after all. Dean desperately wanted to cling onto the Angel, just like he had all the other times Cas had dragged him out hell (be it literal hell or Dean's own personal hell). Being human again just felt raw and it was a little too much, truth be told he didn't want to be left alone with his thoughts, with the memories of what he'd done whilst he was a demon.

"Cas, stay?" Dean asked, the words spilling out of his mouth before he could stop them.

Cas dropped the handle and turned away from the door. "Of course." he smiled. "I wasn't planning on leaving until we were sure the sanctified blood ritual had really worked." he told him.

Dean smiled a little, he forgot sometimes that Cas didn't always understand his meaning. "I didn't mean the Bunker." he replied. "Not that I don't appreciate you being here, but I meant will you stay _here_ with me tonight?" he said slipping off the bed and heading over to Cas.

"Sam will be back shortly with food for you." Cas said a little nervous when the Hunter started to tug off his trench coat.

"I'm not hungry anymore, just tired. Really tired." Dean said with a sigh as he slipped the coat off the Angel's shoulders and threw it on the chair in the corner of the room; it was quickly followed by Cas's suit jacket. "You know I miss you wearing a tie." Dean said his fingers automatically going to undo the back to front blue piece of fabric like he must have imagined a million times or more but stopping when they found it absent.

Cas swallowed hard, still a little uncertain of what was going on. "As an Angel my vessel's clothing mean nothing to me, but when I was human I found wearing a tie restricting and uncomfortable … guess I didn't quite manage to shake it." he tried to explain.

Dean just smiled in response as he toed off his boots; Cas smirked a little when Dean finally had them off and shrank down a few inches in height. "What?" Dean asked with a frown, his red shirt joining Cas's trench coat and jacket on the chair.

Cas fixed him with his big blue eyes. "You are less intimidating when you're not wearing those." he said nodding to the boots.

"You think I'm intimidating?" Dean asked amused. "You're an Angel of the Lord after all." he teased.

Dean didn't give him chance to reply, besides Cas was too stunned by Dean wrapping his hand around his and leading him over to his bed. "Dean?" he questioned.

Dean sighed; he knew he needed to explain his action to the confused Angel but right now he did not have the energy. "Don't Cas, not tonight. I just need you to stay with me okay?" Dean replied climbing onto his bed and pulling the Angel down beside him.

Cas just nodded in agreement. There were somethings about humans that he knew he would never quite understand.

"I know you don't sleep." Dean mumbled, already half-way there himself. "But could you just pretend?" he asked. "Kinda creepy otherwise." he said smiling at the Angel who was just lying beside him staring at him.

Cas closed his eyes instantly. "Actually I have been sleeping quite a lot, losing my Grace is taking it out of me." he explained.

Dean's fingers curled around Cas's arm and tightened. "We'll fix it." he said simply.

Cas opened his eyes once more and let them swim in Dean's; he smiled grateful … he wanted to question Dean's confidence, there was no way they could be sure that he could be fixed but Dean's eyes had drifted closed and his breaths turned heavy which after much experience Cas knew meant the Hunter had fallen asleep.

Cas watched him for a while, creepy or not he found it comforting and a little fascinating to watch humans sleep. Particularly Dean because of the vulnerability that showed on his softened face, the relaxedness of his usually so strong muscles and the steady slow pulse of his heart beat. Dean rolled over after a while, exposing the shoulder that bore Cas's handprint. Cas reached out and traced the palm and each finger before finally laying his hand over – a perfect fit – just like they could be he thought wistfully. He quickly crossed himself for such thoughts, a human and an Angel. A _hunter_ and an Angel. Impossible.

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Cas avoided Sam's eye when he bumped into him in the corridor as he headed out of Dean's room the following morning. Sam was eager to talk to him and wasn't about to let him get away so easy. "So I came back last night with food and found you and Dean asleep?" he questioned trying to sound casual.

"I – he asked me to stay." Cas replied simply, watching as Sam poured milk over his morning cereal.

Sam sat down at the table and began to eat. Cas sat down also, feeling like he owed Sam. "Okay, so … am I missing something?" Sam asked. "Did something happen between you two last night?"

Cas shook his head. "He has become human again, he didn't want to be alone." he replied. "It was nothing more than that." he added with a shrug.

"Okay." Sam said holding his hands up innocently. "It was just a surprise that's all." he replied before he carried on eating.

Cas shifted uncomfortable in his seat. "Sam -" he started to say but was stopped when Dean entered the kitchen.

"Morning." Dean said cheerfully as he grabbed the pot of coffee on the warmer and poured himself a mug.

Cas glanced up at him – how could he be so cheerful after the night he'd had? His sleep plagued by nightmares, waking up two or three times in a sweat of fear. "Good morning Dean." Cas replied; he knew sometimes humans liked to pretend, to kid themselves everything was okay and so just went along with it for Dean's sake. Despite the Winchesters being brothers, they didn't often share such personal feelings he'd noticed.

"So what's the plan for today then fella's?" Dean asked swallowing down a mouthful of coffee. "Any monsters to gank?" he asked eager to get back to work, to start making up for all that he'd done.

Sam glanced at the Mark of Cain still burnt onto his brother's arm. "How about the three of us put our heads together and work on getting rid of that first?" he suggested.

Dean rubbed his hand over the Mark, he nodded a little – once he was rid of it he was sure he could start to put his life back on track. Despite it's power, it was not worth all the pain it brought.

"I have to leave actually." Cas said getting up and pulling on the trench coat he'd draped over the back of the chair.

"Already?" Sam asked glancing from Dean to Cas with a frown; he sensed a little awkwardness between them.

"Yes, there is some of my grace left out there – somewhere – I have to find it." Cas explained. "Hannah called this morning, she has a lead, she's waiting for me outside."

Sam nodded; he knew Cas wouldn't survive long on stolen grace for long. "Well can we do anything to help?" he asked.

Cas shook his head. "No you have to concentrate on finding a way to get rid of the Mark." Cas said glancing over his shoulder at Dean. "That's your priority right now."

Dean swallowed hard. "And if you expect us to just watch you die you've got a screw lose." he snapped. "Follow up your lead with Hannah, we'll hit the books there must be something here that can help."

Cas nodded. "Very well." he said knowing it was pointless to try and dissuade Dean once he had his mind set on something. "Goodbye Sam."

Sam got up, embraced Cas and patted him on the back. "Be safe, call us if you need anything." he told him.

Cas nodded; he paused beside Dean, not sure what to say. "Goodbye Dean." he said simply.

Dean sucked in a deep breath and just nodded his head as Cas passed by, and headed out of the kitchen.

"Dean, seriously?" Sam said with raised eyebrows.

"What?" Dean snapped accusingly.

"Go after him." Sam ordered. "If he doesn't get his grace back, he'll die. You know he won't take any more stolen grace willingly. This could be the last we ever see of him."

Dean's heart clenched tight in his chest. "That's not going to happen." he said stuffing his hands in his pockets. "This is Cas we're talking about, he's … he always finds a way."

Sam swallowed hard knowing his brother was in denial about many things … but most importantly the possibility they could lose Cas. "He's running out of time, just grow a pair and for once admit your feelings Dean."

"I – how?" Dean asked his eyes narrowing at Sam.

"I'm not an idiot." Sam replied with a sigh. "Cas has been in love with you ever since he pulled you out of hell, and he still is even after everything that has happened."

Dean winced thinking of everything that had happened, everything he'd done and what he'd become. How could Cas still love him after that?

Sam swallowed. "– And I think you feel the same." he said gently. Dean glared at Sam, not liking his inner most feelings being exposed but did not protest; how could he? It was true after all, he was in love with the Angel. "You owe it to him to tell him the truth before he leaves." Sam told him.

Dean's eyes fell to the floor, and ran over the rim of his boots. "He knows … he must know." he mumbled barely audible.

"You don't know for sure unless you tell him." Sam said heading over and placing his hands on Dean's shoulders. "It will give him the courage to fight. I can see it in his eyes Dean, he's accepted his fate – he believes he's near the end, that he'll die when his grace runs out. Give him something to fight for." he encouraged.

Sam sighed when Dean did not move or say a word; he sat down at the table heavily and just pulled the nearest book from the ever growing pile in the middle of the table toward him and began to read looking for any reference to Angels or the Mark of Cain. After a few moments he heard the heavy thud of boots heading out of the kitchen and running across the bunker and when he looked up Dean was gone. Sam smiled to himself before returning his attention to his book.

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"Cas!" Dean shouted at the top of his lungs as he sped out of the bunker onto the street outside, but he was too late the car Hannah had picked Cas up in had already set off leaving a trail of dust in its wake. "Cas …" Dean said again with a sigh as he hung his head. "God damn Cas." he muttered under his breath.

The squeaking of badly worn brakes caused Dean to lift his head and he couldn't believe his eyes when he saw the car stop and then start to reverse toward him; he had to jump out of the way as it came at him extremely fast before stopping suddenly. Cas climbed out of the car, looking a little shaky. "Sorry, Hannah is new to driving." he told Dean.

Dean just smiled a little; he leaned down and peered at Hannah through the window. "Yeah you might wanna go a little easier on those pedals." he told her. "Err … do you mind turning your ears off while I speak to Cas for a moment."

Hannah stared at Dean puzzled for a moment before she turned back to stare out of the windscreen.

Not sure if she'd understood the need for privacy or not, Dean grabbed Cas by the elbow and pulled him over the road to the grass verge. Cas glanced at him. "Whatever you have to say you can say in front of Hannah, she is a loyal Angel she would not betray us."

"It's not about that Cas." Dean said dropping Cas's arm like it was red hot. "I just wanted to catch you before you left. Summat I gotta tell you."

Cas just nodded. "Go on."

Dean's eyes darted over Cas's wide and innocent ones – he wished for once the Angel would pick up a hint and not force him to have to be so blunt. "Dammit Cas, I just … I just realised that I might not see you again." he struggled.

Cas's eyes darkened and he sighed heavily; his shoulders drooping a little. "That is true and it pains me too Dean."

Dean's hand returned to Cas's arm and gripped him tightly. "That Grace runs out you find some more, you hear me Cas?" he said firmly. "Even if it's not your's you get some to keep you going till you find it."

Cas smiled a little. "You know I can't do that Dean." he said with a shake of his head. "It would mean another Angel has to die and I won't let that happen – not for me."

"Well for me then." Dean snapped crossly. "For me if not for yourself 'cause I can't lose you Cas. I can't. Not again."

Cas frowned a little. "I have instructed Hannah to keep watch over you should something happen to me." he told him.

Dean sighed. "You think that's all you are to me? To Sam? Just a bodyguard? You're our friend Cas, you can't just expect us to accept another Angel in your place."

Cas's eyes rested on Dean's and he smiled warmly. "That is very kind of you Dean, I'm glad I mean as much to you as you do to me."

Dean nodded. "You're right, you do and I wish I'd made that more clear to you."

"Castiel we need to get going, we don't have much time." Hannah said getting out of the car and staring at Dean like he was the enemy, like he was the reason for Cas's fading grace and imminent death.

Dean glanced over at her irritably. "Another minute and he's all your's sister."

Hannah frowned. "You are no Angel Dean Winchester, I am not your sister." she said opening the car door once more. "Castiel we must leave now."

"A minute." Cas said firmly.

Hannah pursed her lips but nodded in agreement before climbing back into the car and starting the engine.

Dean knew he didn't have much time, that it was now or never …really never … because Sam was right, he could lose Cas for good. "You make sure you come home." he said hand sliding around the back of Cas's neck as he pulled him into a rushed kiss hating the fact he had no time to make savour it. "Come home okay." he said pulling back a little, his forehead pressed to Cas's and his eyes locked on his.

"Dean." Cas croaked stunned. "I -."

"I know." Dean smiled crookedly as he felt the Angel shake beneath him. He swallowed hard. "And I feel the same." he said scarcely able to let the words had escaped him. "So make sure you get your ass back here, fully Graced up so I can show you all right?" he said breaking away and pushing Cas toward the car before he could regret it.

Cas's hand gripped Dean's shoulder tightly, laying perfectly over the imprint and he smiled broadly. "I will Dean." he promised. "I will." he nodded before climbing into the car.

Dean watched as the car sped away and remained staring down the track for a long while before retreating back into the bunker. He sat down at the table Sam was now working at expecting his brother to say something, make a comment, tease him … but Sam only smiled at him before returning to his work. Dean smiled back gratefully before grabbing a book and taking the seat opposite Sam.

He hoped it wouldn't be long until he heard that familiar flutter of wings.


	2. Homecoming

**Title:** Homecoming

**Characters/Pairings:** Dean Winchester/Castiel.

**Summary: **Castiel returns to the bunker, to Dean, just as he promised he would after getting his Grace restored.

**Warnings:** MxM pairing, smut, swearing.

**Rating:** M

Dean's eyes snapped open when he heard the flutter of wings and the light thud of a soft landing at the foot of his bed. "Cas." he said sitting up, quickly running his fingers through his hair, he hadn't been asleep, just dozing but somehow everything about him had become rumpled and he suddenly found himself feeling self-conscious about his appearance.

"Hello Dean." Cas smiled.

A warmth spread through the Hunter's body at the sound of Cas's usual greeting, and he wondered if the Angel knew what effect just saying his name had on him; the smile Cas bore and the twinkle in his eye convinced him that he did. Dean's eyes scanned the length and breadth of the Angel, scarcely able to believe he was standing in front of him looking … well looking good, great actually, and for the first time Dean realised just how much he'd missed him. "You're back? Properly I mean?" he asked.

Cas nodded. "Yes, I … I have my mojo back as you like to call it." he smiled again.

"How?" Dean asked scrambling off the bed and tugging his shirt straight before running his hand through his hair once more.

"It's a long story." Cas sighed wearily, and for a moment Dean saw the whole weight of the world hang heavily in the Angel's eyes. "But I'm home now." Cas continued before Dean could ask. "Just like I promised." he added reminding him of the last time they'd seen each other.

Dean's eyes turned to rest on the floor, he was feeling a little embarrassed as he remembered the words that had passed between them. He wasn't used to wearing his heart on his sleeve. "Does Sam know you're back?" he asked.

"No." Castiel replied with a shake of his head. "I -" he paused. "Actually my first thought after getting back my wings was of you alone." he confessed shyly.

Dean's mouth twitched into a smile at Cas's words and he sank down on the bed, soaking in the sense of peace that the Angel naturally seemed to fill the room with.

"You still bear the Mark I see?" Cas said crossing the room and taking Dean's forearm into his hands, a delicate finger stretching out and running over the imprint.

Dean swallowed hard. "We're working on it." he reassured him as he drew his arm away and pulled down his sleeve to cover the Mark; for some reason he didn't like Cas touching it, he didn't even want the Angel to see it … it was a curse … it had changed him and he wanted Cas to remember who he was before all this mess.

Cas's eyes darted over Dean's, he could see the Hunter was tired, no more than that, he was physically exhausted and emotionally drained. Cas worried at his bottom lip with his teeth. "Dean -" he started.

"Don't Cas." Dean said shaking his head quickly. "Don't worry about me, now we've got you back we're sure to find a way to get rid of it and get me back to my usual charming self." he grinned a little too widely for it to truly be believable.

Cas smiled. "It is pleasing to hear you have so much faith in me but I am not sure how I can help?" he questioned.

"You being here is help alone." Dean said feeling more himself now than he had in days; he'd been cooped up in the Bunker obsessing over books trying to find a way to get rid of the Mark whilst Sam went out to deal with cases alone. Try as he might, Sam could not convince Dean to go with him. Dean did dare not leave the Bunker, fearing the nightmares he experienced every single night since being demon-cured would become reality – that he'd kill again, this time the innocent too, and that his eyes would turn black once more. "Cas tell me something … and be honest with me, please?" he asked.

Cas nodded quickly.

Dean swallowed. "My soul …" he stopped not sure if he wanted to know the answer to his question. "Is it still, okay?" he asked clumsily. "I mean after all I've done I feel …" he sighed and shook his head. "You know what don't worry about it, I'm just tired." he said screwing his eyes closed and pinching at the bridge of his nose.

"Your soul is pure and intact." Cas replied laying a hand on Dean's shoulder. "You are too hard on yourself."

Dean flopped back on the bed. "That's what Sammy keeps telling me, that it's just the Mark. But you know what I keep thinking Cas?" he said his eyes opening and staring up at the Angel. "Cain told me I was worthy of the Mark, kinda makes me think he knew deep down what I am … a cold blooded killer …"

"No." Cas said shaking his head.

"You haven't been here Cas! You don't know what I've done!" Dean shouted getting up and stalking the length of the room – sometimes the unwavering faith that Cas and Sam had in him angered him, the solid belief that he was good and pure was too much for him to live up to. How could they still believe in him after all he'd done?

Cas got up and placed a hand on Dean's arm to stop him in his tracks. "I watched you from Heaven." he told him. "I'm sorry I wasn't here but that doesn't mean I was absent; whilst my Grace was being restored I kept watch over you. I heard your prayers, I felt your pain, your feeling of helplessness and I watched as you veered toward that dark path ... it killed me that I could not return to your side to help. I begged Hannah to send someone in my place but she refused, she said that Heaven could not intervene this time."

"I told you before another Angel won't do, you know you are the only one of your kind that I trust." Dean replied his anger mostly dying out but a little still laced his words.

Cas nodded. "It doesn't matter anyway because you didn't need an Angel, you did it all yourself Dean. You have no idea how happy I was to see you come back to the light, to fight back against the Mark."

"I feel like I'm losing the battle." Dean confessed.

Cas pulled Dean into his arms and held him tightly. "You feel that way now, but you will win this war. I know you will." he told him; he drew back and looked Dean in the eyes. "You will Dean." he said gripping his shoulder tightly.

Dean's eyes swept over Cas's which never seemed to stray from him. "I love you." he said, the word spilling from his mouth before he could catch them. Cas smiled, his eyes shining bright as they filled with love and affection in return. Dean sighed dropping his forehead against Cas's shoulder – it felt like I relief to have finally said the words even though they'd both known the depth of their feelings for each other for a long time now. "Cas can we stop all this jibber jabber and say hello properly?" he asked lifting his head from the Angel's shoulder.

"I am not sure what you mean." Cas replied with a frown. "What is jibber jabber and how do I stop?"

Dean laughed, genuinely laughed for the first time in what felt like forever. "Don't ever change Cas." he said leaning in and brushing a kiss against Cas's lips. It was only the second time their lips had connected and Dean still found it strange … not the act itself but that kissing Cas, his best friend, an Angel of the Lord, felt so right, so natural and not in the least bit odd.

Cas smiled when the kiss broke. "I believe you already requested that once before." he said feeling so much happiness at the moment he was sure he was about to burst from his vessel, fly to the very top of Heaven and proclaim his love for the eldest Winchester for all to hear. Not that most of the Angels up there would have been surprised – Castiel falling for Dean was not news to them, it was prophecy. Destiny.

"Well I'm glad you listened." Dean replied his fingers stroking down the lapels of the trench coat he was oh so fond of.

Their lips met once more but it was clumsy kiss, their noses bumping and their teeth catching each other's. Cas knew it was his fault, he was not used to this – he'd only ever kissed a couple of people before and that was just him experimenting after he watched the pizza delivery man on television. Kissing Dean however was different, he wanted to get it right. "Cas." Dean smiled breaking away from the Angel when he heard him sigh crossly between kisses. "Stop thinking so much." he chuckled.

"But I want to do this right Dean." Cas replied desperately.

Dean smiled affectionately. "Let me take the lead?" he suggested. Cas nodded quickly, Dean was far more experienced that him after all. "Just relax." Dean whispered his hands cupping Cas's jaw and his thumbs stroking down his cheekbones. "There is no test at the end, no pass or fail." he told him. "Just enjoy me as I enjoy you."

Realisation suddenly dawned on Cas that this wasn't something to feel pressured by, that Dean loved him and no amount of clumsy mistakes was going to change that. "I understand." he whispered with a nod.

Dean took this as his que to continue. "Relax." he whispered again feeling Cas shiver as their lips danced closer to each other's once more. Cas's eyes found his and he nodded. Dean's eyes blackened with desire as he drifted over Cas's full, pink lips. He'd never known desire like it. Caving, their lips connected and Dean was pleased to find Cas was indeed letting him take the lead. Both the Hunter and the Angel's eyes instantly fell closed as their lips touched, this time more cautiously and more controlled, their head's turning to accommodate each other's features and their teeth only catching when intended.

Dean felt a familiar sense of arousal as blood rushed down his body and a tightness swelled in his jeans; this was his first time with a man but not the first time he'd fantasised about being with Cas so it was reassuring to find his body was in synch with his heart and mind. Cas moaned when Dean's lips slipped off his and down his jaw, the sound delighted Dean and only further fuelled his desire for the celestial being.

They found their way to the bed and Dean hastily pulled off Cas's trench coat before they sank down onto it. Dean eased Cas down onto his back, pushed his knees apart with a strong hand and sank down between them, his mouth falling to Cas's neck, sucking and biting softly as his fingers slipped open his shirt buttons and tugged apart the fabric to give him better access. Dean was surprised at what he found beneath the shirt, Cas looked lean when wearing his usual suit and coat and Dean had never imagine that underneath it all he'd find Cas was built of solid muscle. Being inhabited by an Angel had obviously done wonders to the former accountant's body, because Dean couldn't quite picture Jimmy Novak being one for working out.

After pulling the shirt and suit jacket off the Angel's body, dean noticed Cas was little self-conscious. Dean kissed him reassuringly, reminding him that he loved him no matter what and soon he felt Cas's mind be put at ease. Dean touched at Cas's chest before stroked his fingers over his shoulders – the feel of him was so different to that of a woman, what Dean was used to, but he found himself just as turned on by the feel of Cas's strong muscles as he'd ever done by the soft curves of a women he'd been with before.

Eager to touch and explore the Hunter, Cas impatiently tugged at Dean's shirt.

Dean quickly took the hint, sat up a little and tugged the shirt off over his head. Cas laughed when the shirt got stuck half way around Dean's head, one of the Hunter's ear free and the other trapped inside. Cas propped himself up with one hand behind him on the bed and used his free hand to help him. "See." Dean smiled after he's tossed the shirt away. "Things do not always go as smoothly as they appear on TV."

Cas nodded. "I understand."

Dean's lips returned to Cas's and they kissed deeper this time, allowing their tongues to explore each other's mouths whilst their fingers took the same trip over their bodies. Cas kept forgetting to breathe between kisses which amused Dean greatly when he pulled away to gasp for breath, but his Angel was a quick learner and soon got the hang of it, kissing him back like a pro.

Cas couldn't help but laugh as the Hunter's lips left his lips and peppered their way down his chest. Dean soon found the Angel's warding tattoo and pressed kisses to the intricate pattern whilst Cas's fingers circled the outline of Dean's tattoo with the tip of his finger. Who knew the patterns they'd permanently inked their skin with to protect themselves would be such a source of pleasure he found himself thinking.

Dean gazed up at Cas as the Angel laughed. "You're ticklish." he commented, surprised by this but not really knowing why.

"My vessel was I guess." Cas replied since he'd never experienced the sensation before inhabiting a human body.

Dean just hummed happily; he slipped back up Cas's body and rested against him for a moment or two, just content with gazing into those reassuring blue eyes that seemed to keep finding their way into his dreams. "What else don't I know about you?" he asked enjoying the warm of the body beneath him; he wasn't sure if it had something to do with Cas being an Angel in a human body but his skin felt incredibly warm to the touch – like he'd been laying in the sun for hours. Perhaps it was because he'd been in Heaven for so long, he considered.

Cas smiled. "I have discovered that I don't like spiders … or at least he didn't for I love all of God's creation but when I saw one I recoiled in fear."

Dean laughed. "Another thing dear old Jimmy left you I guess." he smiled affectionately. "Okay so from now on I'll deal with the spiders around here, Sammy's afraid of them too." he grinned. "But don't tell him I told you that."

Cas reached out and carded his fingers through Dean's hair. "Sounds perfect." he replied with a chuckle.

Dean pressed a kiss to Cas's lips. "I love hearing you laugh." he told him. He was so used to stoic, serious Cas that his laughter was music to his ears. He loved that Cas was becoming more and more human.

Cas wanted to tell Dean the same thing, and that he wished he heard him laugh more often … smile more often even … but he remained quiet on the matter knowing it would only remind them of the reasoning behind the lack of smiles and laughter in their lives right now. No, best to stay within the bubble of happiness they'd created that blocked out all that pain and misery.

Cas buried his face in the Hunter's neck breathing in the smell of the man he loved so much; leather, the hint of engine oil and of the cleaning fluid Dean used to clean his beloved guns all punctuated by the spice of the aftershave he wore, the same as his father before him. It came to dawn on Cas just how much this man, this mere mortal meant to him, and he felt his hands grip tightly at Dean's shoulder at the thought of someday losing him to old age because he refused to believe he'd lose him any other way.

"Cas." Dean asked worriedly as he pulled back a little; he'd felt the Angel's finger nails dig into his shoulders as he gripped him tight with fear.

Cas let out the breath he'd been holding. "Sorry." he whispered pressing kisses to the marks on Dean's shoulders.

"What is it?" Dean asked.

Cas shook his head. "Nothing, Dean please … just … I need you." he said not sure how to tell the Hunter what he wanted.

Dean smiled that oh so adorable crooked smile of his and wet his lips with his tongue. "Cas, you're sure?" he asked. Cas nodded quickly – he wanted him more than anything, he wanted to know what real love felt like. He'd experienced sexual intercourse once before of course, twice actually, he corrected himself as he remembered that night - but it had all been a trick and he'd almost died because of it. He wanted to know what real love felt like. He wanted to know what Dean felt like.

Dean felt the uncomfortable swell in his jeans again, all just from the way Cas was looking at him; he cupped the Angel's face, his eyes meeting his and asking silently once more if he was sure. Cas nodded a little. Dean's mouth fell onto his neck and he devoured the Angel. Cas's hands found their way to the back of Dean's head, his fingers delving into his hair and pushing– wanting more, more, more as he cantered his hips off the bed finding pleasure in the friction as he rubbed against Dean.

Cas's moans sent the blood pumping even more furiously around Dean's body and he knew in that moment he was lost to the Angel forever. Dean pulled away from Cas's neck despite the Angel's whimper of protest which was quickly replace by a sigh of pleasure when the Hunter's lips teased down his chest, his fingers stroking down the side of his ribcage until they reached the waist band of his trousers.

Cas nodded quickly when Dean looked up at him and his breaths starting to quicken as Dean fumbled at the button and zipper. "Dean." he moaned impatiently.

Dean laughed. "Cool it hot wings we'll get there." he told him, finally getting the button undone. Dean tugged at the trousers, taking the underwear with them as he pulled them down Cas's thighs and off his legs, tossing them to the floor hurriedly.

"Well looks like you chose your vessel well." Dean commented his eyes taking in the long hard length of Cas's dick which glistened at the tip oh so invitingly … begging desperately to have a hot mouth wrapped around it.

Cas frowned. "Dean I didn't -"

Dean chuckled leaning down and biting playfully at the inside of Cas's thigh. "Cas I'm joking, I suspect you had more important considerations in mind when you chose your vessel rather than what they were packing." he grinned at him.

Cas coloured. "But this pleases you?" he asked unsurely. "Because if not I could find a new vessel … a woman perhaps … one that you'd like?" he offered.

Dean rolled his eyes, he slid up Cas's body and found his lips. "Cas I love you." he said between kisses. "Just as you are, I'm sure I'd love you whatever vessel you took but I'm kind of fond of this one so I'd like to keep him." he said his fingers tips stroking down his chest. "Sure it might be a little different for me and yeah it's not like I've done this before but this, _you_, in this body." he said touching him all over. "This is what I fell in love with, what I fantasise about. As much as I'd love to know what you look like in your true form with your wings and halo and all that jazz at the end of the day this is the real you … for me at least."

Cas just groaned at these words. "Dean." he said not knowing what else was possible to say.

Dean sat back and smiled at the Cas a little smugly. "But for the record," he said grasping the Angel's length and running his thumb over the tip. "This pleases me." he said not taking his eyes of Cas as he swept up the stickiness with his thumb before putting it into his mouth and sucking it clean.

Cas coloured even more deeply, watching Dean and feeling prickle of excitement shoot down his spine; he was about to speak but all words were lost when Dean suddenly move down the bed and took him into his mouth without warning. A string of incomprehensible sounds left the Angel and his fingers balled into the bedsheets and gripped tightly as Dean took him again and again and again into the warmth of his mouth, right to the back of his throat without hesitation despite Cas knowing he'd not done this with another male before. Dean built up a relentless momentum that Cas just had to take it because he found himself unable to speak or move to ask for anything otherwise. Not that he wasn't loving every second of it but he felt sure he was about to explode and was worried that he really would burst from his vessel.

Suddenly, however, it was over. Dean stopped completely and sat back grinning at Cas, a knowing look in his eyes. He'd driven Cas right to the edge of the cliff, had almost caused him to topple over but had pulled him back at the very last moment.

"Dean." Cas sitting up and panting, not quite sure what had just happened.

Dean pressed a kiss to Cas's lips. "We don't want this show over before it's begun now do we?" he smirked. Cas shook his head quickly – if this was just the beginning he knew he sure was in for a ride. Dean pressed against Cas's shoulders, encouraging back down. "I want you Cas." he said wrapping his hand around the Angel's length and stroking him.

Cas's eyes swam with desire and he nodded. "Please Dean." he whispered.

Dean slid down the bed once more and Cas prepared himself for what he thought was to come, to feel the warmth of Dean's mouth once more, but his eyes shot open when he felt something else. "Dean …" he cried.

"It's okay Cas's just relax." Dean shushed him.

Cas settled back; Dean pushed his legs further apart, spreading him as wide as he could. He was off the bed completely now, on his knees at the foot of it and had pulled Cas down to the very edge. Cas closed his eyes and wrapped his hands around the sheets. He wasn't sure what was happening, this was something he'd not seen on any televisions programme before, but he trusted Dean more than anything.

Dean eyes felt on Cas's entrance glistening with his saliva; he knew he'd have to be gentle with the Angel at first; he had no lube, never having need of it before and was pretty damn sure that Mr and Mrs Novak wouldn't have been so adventurous in the bedroom. Deciding he'd have to go with good old spit, Dean grasped Cas's length once more stroking with one hand as he held him apart with the other to give his tongue access to him.

Cas cried out as Dean's name as his tongue found his way back to his entrance and started to lick and lap, suck and tease this along with the graze of his stubble was electrifying. It was surprisingly intimate and a sensation so new to him that he knew not what to think … but one thing he did know was that nothing on Earth or in Heaven would have him ask Dean to stop.

Dean circled the Angel's hole a few times before he pressed the tip of his tongue inside; Cas's body jolted and his hand squeezed tightly around his shoulder. Dean took this to mean he wanted him to stop but when he drew away Cas squeezed his shoulder again. "Dean I … please … don't stop." he begged.

Dean smiled up at him, a strong hand slid up Cas's calf, under his thigh and pushed gently urging Cas to lift bend his legs even more. Cas sighed happily when Dean's tongue returned to him and he cried out as he felt him enter him once more. Dean used his tongue on him for a little longer wetting the Angel as much as he could before he deemed him ready to take the next step.

Dean drew back sucked a finger into his mouth and touched gently as Cas's entrance. Their eyes met once more, Cas nodded quickly and Dean, seeing no hesitation in his eyes gently eased his finger inside. Cas moaned at the burn but did not ask Dean to stop – he trusted him to know when it was too much for him.

Dean slid his finger in an out, over and over, whilst sucking and kissing the inside of Cas's thigh that he held in his free hand. Cas relaxed, his hand stroking through the Hunter's hair and his eyes never leaving his. Dean wondered if he knew his pupils had turned Heavenly white. Probably not, the Angel was a mess after all - his usually neat and tidy hair was a wild finger combed mess, his lips red and swollen and his chest shining with sweat. In fact Cas had never looked so damn fine before and this sent a surge of desire through Dean causing him to a suck a second finger into his mouth. Cas watched him through half lidded eyes and smiled slightly in reassurance that he was still okay with this. More than okay, he was in complete bliss. Dean added the second finger, Cas jerked a little as he pressed it in and so Dean forced himself to control his pace and took it slow; at first continued his in out motions but when he felt Cas open up and relax a little more he started to scissor him.

Cas moaned quietly, the arm over his face muffling his mouth. Dean grabbed his hand and pulled it away – he wanted nothing more than to hear the Angel's pleasure. Cas tangled his fingers through his and gripped Dean's hand tightly as Dean teased in a third finger. "You're nearly there Cas." he whispered. "But it might still hurt." he said wishing he had lube or some equivalent in his room. The bathroom down the hall where there might be something he could use just seemed to far and he didn't want to leave the Angel for a second.

Cas shook his head. "I don't care Dean." he said squeezing his hand again. "Please I want this, I want you." he begged.

Dean nodded, his fingers left the Angel and he crawled back up the bed to kiss him. "I love you." he told him, the third time coming without hesitation. God it really was so easy, why had he spent so much time agonising over the words before he never knew.

Cas sighed happily. "Show me." he said simply.

Dean took his Angel into his arms, distracting him with kisses whilst he freed himself from his jeans and pants. Settling down on the bed together, Cas's fingers stroked over Dean's newly exposed thighs stroking his fingers through the smattering of hair that crossed them. Dean apparently wasn't ticklish, but Cas didn't mind – something about that didn't seem right anyway. It just wasn't Dean.

Cas started to breath faster as Dean moved into position, stroking his saliva slicked hand over his length hoping this would help make things a little smoother. Dean's eyes fell on Cas's and for the first time he saw hesitation. "It's okay Cas, we don't have to if you don't want to." he told him. "I can blow you again?" he offered.

Cas shook his head quickly, he wrapped his legs around the Hunter and locked his ankles across him. "Please it's okay, I'm just … I'm okay …" he assured him.

Dean smiled. "I'm nervous too."

"You are?" Cas asked surprised but also reassured by this.

Dean nodded, he bent down and kissed Cas softly. "Of course I am."

Cas knew this was a big moment for the two of them, if they went through with this there was no looking back. Things between them would have changed forever. Cas smiled realising he didn't want to go back, and Dean smiled in return the same thought crossing his mind.

Dean pushed against Cas's prepared entrance; Cas screwed up his face in anticipation. Dean paused, his hands stroking over him. "Relax." he encouraged.

Cas let out the breath he'd been holding, nodding. "Sorry." he mumbled.

Dean chuckled. "What I tell you about thinking less and enjoying more?" he whispered before locking their lips together. Cas remembered and forced his head to clear again. Dean kept on kissing the Angel as he pressed against him, entering him a little by little. Cas groaned between kisses, the pressure building until Dean had to stop it was so much. They continue to kiss for a long time before Dean dare moved again, this time he found less resistance and so kept on sinking in until he was completely buried.

"Dean." Cas whispered when he realised he was all the way in.

Dean smiled at him. "Fuck Cas you feel amazing." he whispered his eyes black and heavy with love and lust. "Fuck." he groaned drinking in the sensation, his hands running down Cas's face, to his neck, his shoulders. "Fuck." he groaned again. He couldn't believe this was really happening. He couldn't believe they'd waited so long for this.

"Move, Dean please." Cas rasped unable to bear it much more – he just needed to feel Dean.

Dean thrust his hips forward; Cas cried out his name again, wrapped his arms around his neck and pressed kisses to the side of his face. Dean thrust again, and then again and again and Cas moaned each time. The sound driving Dean mad with desire. If it were possible he found himself falling more and more in love with the Angel by the second.

Dean pulled out a little further before each thrust and slowly started to build pace. Cas was completely gone beneath him, hanging onto Dean for support for he had none left of his own.

Dean closed his eyes drinking the feel of his Angel in; he was perfectly tight around him, the pressure on his dick just perfect and he was warm, so fucking warm, it felt like it was seeping through to Dean and into his bones.

Cas's eyes were closed but Dean could see brilliant white light peeking out from between his lashes. "Cas open your eyes." Dean whispered.

"I can't, I'll blind you." Cas murmured back.

Dean leant down and pressed a kiss to his mouth. "You won't they were white earlier, I was fine."

Cas frowned, he slowly opening his eyes a little unsure but when he saw Dean smiling back at him he realised what he said was true. How had that happened without him knowing he wasn't sure, Cas didn't understand it, but he didn't dare question it – Dean wasn't blinded by him – this meant he could show him who he really was. "Dean close your eyes." Cas whispered. Dean did so, trusting his Angel. Cas pressed the tips of two of his fingers to Dean's forehead. "This is me." Cas told him feeling a little nervous. Perhaps this would be a wakeup call for Dean, realising that Cas really truly wasn't a man but a celestial being and perhaps it would be too much but Cas had to risk it. He wanted Dean to know the real him.

"Castiel." Dean breathed, using Cas's full name for the first time in a long time as he took in the sight of the Angel's true form which Cas projected into his mind. In front of his eyes was an enormous being made of what seemed to be pure light; he must have been the size of a tower block at least. Dean thought of the being as a "he" because of Cas having a male vessel but the white light formed the shape of a being of no specific gender, just long slender legs and a broad torso, slender neck and a long face. The being bore no facial features aside from two bright spheres toward the top where eyes would usually be. A ring of even brighter light hovered in the circle above the beings head – a halo – Dean realised. Suddenly two enormous wings stretched out from the being's back and expanded in front of Dean.

Cas showed off feathery white wings proudly. "This is me Dean."

"Cas you're beautiful." Dean said his eyes opening as Cas removed his fingers causing the vision to fade.

Cas smiled at him all trace of worry and fear gone – Dean accepted him for what he was and still loved him for it. "I'm glad I could show you that." he told him.

Dean realised he's stopped moving and the feel of Cas's eager hand pressing against his hip caused him to start once more; he sank into his Angel feeling more love for him than ever before after seeing his true form.

Cas's gripped Dean tightly as Dean took him again and again; he cried his name every time he struck that sweet spot inside of him which Dean soon hit on every thrust expertly.

They spiralled toward release together, both knowing they couldn't hang on much longer. Dean pulled out almost completely before sinking back into him, Cas could hardly take it and left bruising marks on Dean's hips in return but this did not stop him from begging Dean to go harder, faster and Dean willingly obliged.

Pretty soon Cas could barely catch as breath and so was relieved when Dean rolled onto his back and pulled Cas on top of him allowing him to set the pace.

Dean let Cas take charge, kissing every part of the Angel he could reach as he rode him. "Fuck Cas," he groaned gazing up at him. Cas was a quick learner soon finding the exact angle for maximum pleasure. Just hearing Cas's gasps for air, his moans, the sound of his name rolling of his tongue in pure ecstasy was enough to get Dean off; for the first time he found himself thinking not of his own pleasure but of his partners, of Cas's. He wanted nothing more than for his Angel to be completely and utterly satisfied.

Dean reached out and began to stroke Cas's dick in time with his thrusts, matching his timing perfectly. This extra sensation was all too much for Cas and he knew it would soon before over. His pace was lost, he held onto Dean tightly as he rocked on top of him with no rhythm or control. Dean didn't care – he was pretty damn close too and just gripped the Angel's slippery thighs with a tight hand.

"Dean." Cas groaned suddenly stilling on top of him, his head rolling back and his eyes closing. His body tensed before it jerked and jolted a few times as he came, his dick releasing his load over Dean's fist as it continued to pump him. Dean jerked him off, unable to take his eyes off Cas – the expression on his face was one he'd never get out of his head. He was so fucking perfect it made Dean's head spin.

Soon he was spent and Cas fell limply against him. Dean pressed a kiss to his sweaty hairline before he took over, rolling Cas onto his back. He thrust into the Angel's spent body once, twice, three times into him before he came too. Cas moaned as Dean filled him with a couple of lazy pumps of his hips. "Fuck Cas." Dean laughed into the crook of his neck, his dick twitching inside of him as he came down from his high. "Fuck."

Cas's eyes slid open, they'd returned to their usual blue but his pupils were blow open. "Dean." he whispered.

Dean didn't have then energy to lift his head and just hummed against Cas's shoulder.

Cas pressed his forehead to Dean temple. "That was …" he breathed still trying to catch his breath as a pleasant numbness spread through his body. He didn't finish his sentence, he couldn't think of a word to describe it.

Realising he was probably squashing the Angel, Dean pulled out of Cas causing the Angel to sigh at the finality of it and rolled off him onto the other side of the bed. Cas turned onto his side so he could continue watching Dean as he always did. "Is it always that good?" he asked.

Dean smiled at him. "I sure do hope so."

Cas pressed his head against Dean's shoulder and curled into him. "Dean." he sighed simply.

Dean wrapped his arm around Cas's shoulder pressing kisses to his forehead; his whole body buzzed happily. "Told you I'd show you if you came home." he whispered affectionately.

Cas looked up at him and smiled. "You sure did." he replied causing Dean to laugh once more.


	3. The Morning After

**Title:** The Morning After

**Characters/Pairings:** Dean Winchester/Castiel and Sam Winchester

**Summary: **Dean wakes up alone after spending the night with Cas

**Warnings:** MxM Pairing, swearing

**Rating:** T

Despite his lack of sleep the previous night, Dean woke early the next morning; he couldn't help but wake at the crack of dawn, after years on the road he was used to being up with the sun. Dean stretched, sighing happily before burying his head back in his pillow so he could savour the warmth and comfort of his bed a little longer, _his_ bed - he still couldn't get used to that.

Dean was about to drift back off when he realised there was something missing, the solid weight of the body he'd fallen asleep next to, the limbs he'd found his own tangled around and the feel of a familiar pair of eyes on him, watching him as they always had done. Cas, Cas was missing. Dean realised he'd woken alone; he sat up and turned to look at the empty bed beside him which only confirmed what he'd suspected - Cas had gone. A wave of disappointment and a little confusion washed over him – where was Cas? Why had he left? Dean suddenly felt insecure, he must have done something wrong … said the wrong thing … perhaps he'd scared the Angel off by telling him how he really felt, maybe it was all just too much for him?

Everything had been good when they'd fallen asleep but then Dean remembered that Cas didn't sleep … so maybe he'd lain awake all night thinking and realised that he'd made a mistake, maybe he regretted what had happened between them? What if he'd realised that Dean wasn't what he wanted? That he was too damaged? Cursed and beyond help? Dean felt liked he'd been punched in the stomach, he felt sick, but he pushed it aside and gritted his teeth, determined to find Cas and get some answers.

Dean climbed out of bed, grabbed his dressing gown and headed out of his room. He padded barefoot around the bunker looking for the Angel, but Cas was nowhere to be found. "Dammit Cas." he growled, rubbing the palm of his hand down his sleep worn face. What if Cas had left the bunker completely? Left Earth? Gone back to Heaven, never to return? No. Surely he wouldn't just leave without a word of explanation or even a goodbye, Cas wasn't that cruel. So where was he then?

Dean glanced at the clock on the wall in the library, it was a little after 5am and realising the sun would be up soon he had a sudden idea of where Cas might be. Heading back to his room, Dean grabbed his boots and pulled them on, he then made his way out of the bunker, pulling his dressing gown tightly around him as the wind whipped up around his ankles. Dean crossed the gravel track and made his up the grassy embankment opposite the bunker's entrance. He sighed with relief when he found Cas there, sitting on the grass with his legs stretched out in front of him just staring at the horizon where the sun was just starting to rise. At least he hadn't left completely, that had to mean something Dean told himself.

Dean sighed deeply as he sank down on the grass beside Cas, amused at first when he saw the Angel was wearing nothing but his trench coat but then the chill of the air changed his amusement to concern. "Cas you'll catch your death out here." he told him crossly. "How long have you been out here man?" he asked finding him cold to the touch.

Cas turned to find Dean sitting beside him, he'd been so distracted by the sunrise he'd not even noticed his approach. Cas's face broke into a huge smile at the sight of the eldest Winchester. "Good morning Dean." he replied brightly.

Dean noticed that his eyes were full of as much love and affection as they had been the previous night, as they'd always been if he truly thought about it, and this settled his anxiety. Cas wasn't usually one for smiling and if he did it was usually it was just a brief upturn of his lips, but this morning the Angel was smiling, truly smiling, the corners of his lips almost meeting his eyes and his teeth on show. Dean had never seen Cas smile like this, he was literally beaming. Cas seemed genuinely pleased to see him, did that mean he didn't regret what had happened between them? That he really had just come out to see the sunrise and that he was just being stupidly paranoid? "God damn someone sure is happy this morning." he mumbled gazing at Cas a little bewildered, he wasn't quite awake enough to cope with such exuberance.

Cas's eyes widened and darted over Dean's. "Of course, aren't you?" he asked, his smile dropping and being replaced with a frown, last night they'd declared their love for each other ... was it all just a lie? Just words to get him into bed? Had he been seduced by the Hunter, taken in and used only to be cast aside?

"Well Cas you sure as hell tired me out last night so sorry for not being quite so chirpy." Dean chuckled, turning his eyes away from the sunrise for a moment to rest on the bright blue of the Angel's gazing right back at him. "You're frozen." he said laying a hand on Cas's arm, he could feel the cold radiating from his body – he must have been sitting out there for hours.

"I do not feel it." Cas replied with a shrug, tearing his eyes away to look again at the sunrise. "How did you know I'd be here?" he asked.

Dean shrugged. "Seemed like something you'd do." he said unable to hide a smile.

Cas just nodded slightly but said nothing in reply, truth be told he wasn't sure where they stood now. Dean also bit his tongue, there was a lot he wanted to say, things they needed to talk about but he didn't know where to start. Dean knew he was screwing this up but couldn't seem to prevent it … this was why he'd held back for so long, because he knew it would happen. It always did. They sat side by side and watched the sunrise for a little longer, listening as the birds started to sing; after a while Dean decided it was time to head back inside, he knew soon Sam would soon be up, probably with a case for them to crack on with. "Cas you need to get warmed up." he said grabbing the Angel by the arm and helping him up off the ground. "Come on."

Cas allowed Dean to lead him back to the bunker; the Hunter directed him to the bathroom and Cas just stood in the middle of the room watching Dean as he turned on the shower and then found some clean towels for him to use. "Help yourself to all the lotions and potions." Dean said gesturing the shelf in the shower which held all sorts of brightly coloured bottles.

"Potions?" Cas asked unsurely.

Dean chuckled, forgetting that the Angel took things literally sometimes. "Just an expression Cas." he said patting him on the shoulder as he passed by him to get to the door. "Take all the time you want."

Cas turned around, clutching the towels tightly in his hands as he watched Dean leave the bathroom. He wanted to call after him, ask if they could talk properly because he wanted to know what the hell was going on, but he didn't get a chance. Dean couldn't seem to get away from him quick enough.

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Dean returned to his room and sat down on his bed; he was angry with himself for ignoring the obvious issue between him and Cas, they hadn't talked about what had happened the night before and Dean knew Cas was confused and unsure and he felt bad for being the cause of it. Dean couldn't understand why he was so scared, this was Cas, his best friend, the most kind hearted person he knew. There was nothing to be afraid of. Except of course the whole talking part … Dean had never been very good at that.

Dean flopped back on his bed and gazed up a the ceiling, truth be told he was still felt a little rejected since Cas had up and left that morning even if it was just to watch the sunrise. It wasn't like Dean was usually one for enjoying the glow of the morning after so he wasn't sure why it hurt so much, but he'd been so sure he'd wake up to find Cas beside him that he couldn't help but feel wronged somehow. Dean knew he was being hypocritical, he always bolted after all, climbing into the Impala and heading off to the next town, the next motel, the next bar and the next girl without looking back. This time was different though because for the first time Dean hadn't woken up and felt the urge to bolt. It never crossed his mind that he'd ever be the one ditched that was for sure. God is this what those women he'd left had felt like? He felt like a right asshole now.

Dean closed his eyes, trying to block everything out because it was all just too much. After a while he felt himself being lulled toward sleep and didn't attempt to fight it – sleep was an escape, and besides it was still pretty early and Sam clearly hadn't found a case for them otherwise he'd have already burst in and insisted that he got up and they got on the road as quickly as possible. Dean, therefore, allowed himself to fall back to sleep and forget all of his worries for a while.

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Dean slept only for twenty minutes or so before his eyes opened and found their way onto Cas who he found sitting on the edge of the bed. Dean gazed up at him as he slowly woke. Suddenly all his fears were gone with just one smile in return from the Angel. Dean smiled back, wondering why he hadn't done this sooner, the feelings had always been there after all … why had he been so damn afraid? Probably because this meant so much to him he realised.

"Good morning Dean." Cas smiled at him a little nervously.

Dean smiled back, a little distracted by the beads of water rolling down Cas's chest. "Didn't we already do that already?" he asked stretching lazily.

Cas laughed lightly. "I guess so." he replied rubbing the towel over his damp hair. "Dean …" he said deciding to make the first move.

Dean's smiled faltered a little. "You wanna address the elephant in the room huh?" he asked sitting up and clasping his hands together anxiously; God he hated this – hated having to say out loud what he felt but he knew he had to. He owed it to Cas.

Cas glanced around the room. "I see no elephant Dean." he said with a puzzled frown. "I wanted to talk about last night."

Dean couldn't help but laugh, Cas's naivety really was endearing. "Yeah I know Cas." he replied. "But last night was good huh?" he said glancing at him trying to get a feel for what he was thinking.

"You have no regrets then?" Cas asked, his blue eyes darting over Dean's uncertainly.

"Only that we didn't sort this out sooner." Dean replied twisting his fingers together, he really did suck at all this talking about feelings crap. "Seems like we wasted a lot of time not being honest with ourselves or each other." he added with a shrug.

"I agree." Cas smiled back shyly.

Dean lifted his gaze from his hands and his eyes fell on Cas's electric blue ones. "You do?" he asked. "I was a little worried, I mean you kinda left."

Cas shook his head, knowing at once what Dean must have thought. "Everything that happened last night … well it was a little overwhelming, I just needed to gather my thoughts." he explained. "I'm sorry Dean if you thought anything else." he said reaching out and laying his hand over Dean's knee.

Dean shook his head quickly. "It's fine Cas." he said sitting up and straightening out his shoulders; he sucked in a deep breath before placing his hand over Cas's. "You know I meant what I said last night don't you?"

Cas smiled brightly again. "Yes Dean, I know it must have been difficult for you, and I know you would not say those words if you didn't mean them so I don't have any doubts."

"So we're good then?" Dean asked.

Cas nodded. "Yes Dean." he replied quickly.

Dean flopped back on the bed and sighed with relief, that hadn't been as painful as he'd thought it would be. That's what he loved about Cas, he just made things simple and easy. "Cas, come'ere." he said grabbing him by the elbow and pulling him down beside him. Cas happily settled beside him; they stared at each other for a while, enjoying their own little bubble where they could forget about everything, the Mark, Crowley, Demons and Angels and just enjoy being together.

Dean tentatively closed the gap between them and pressed his lips against Cas's, his hand reaching out and carding through his dark hair. Cas's eyes fluttered closed instantly and his hand reached up to rest on Dean's. Almost instantly all of their fears and worries were vanquished. Dean drew back and gazed at Cas. "Sorry, I'm just so bad at this." he sighed heavily. "But I wanna try and be better, you make me wanna try." he told him.

Cas just smiled back at him. "Dean, you are too hard on yourself." he told him.

Dean chuckled in response, he knew it was true - he'd been told too many times before.

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After making out like two love sick teenagers until their lips were numb and Cas was sporting some serious stubble burn, Dean found himself sprawled over Cas, half lying on top of him. Realising he was probably crushing the Angel with his weight Dean tried to move off him but Cas only curled his arms around him tighter. "Dean I understand now …" Cas whispered gazing down at the Hunter.

"Understand what?" Dean replied, his fingers tracing the tattoo on the side of Cas's body.

Cas smiled down at Dean and shivered a little when he leaned down to press a kiss against the permanently inked skin. "I remember once that you proclaimed a slice of apple pie was heaven when you bit into it." Cas told him. "That confused me greatly at the time." he chuckled.

Dean smiled, pressing his lips against the tattoo once more. "What'ya saying Cas?" he asked gazing up at him, loving the look of absolute content and happiness on the Angel's face; that look, combined with his wild and messy hair, bruised lips and the smattering of love bites dotted down his chest had Dean's stomach turning somersaults. No one had ever looked at him that way before - not even Lisa - and he realised that Cas had always looked at him that way, ever since he'd pulled him out of Hell. Dean just wished it hadn't taken him so long to notice.

Cas's face coloured a little, his fingers carding through Dean's hair, letting the soft golden layers glide through his fingers. "I just mean that I understand now why humans use that word, because this … you and me together … well heaven is the only word that seems fit to describe it." he explained.

Dean rested his chin against Cas and gazed up at him fondly. "That good huh?" he grinned. Cas simply nodded. "I've had my share of compliments but _Heaven_ … coming from an Angel of the Lord himself, well I am highly flattered." he said sliding up Cas's body and grinning down at him.

Cas leant up and connected their lips. "Why do humans think about the afterlife so much when they have everything they could possible want right here in this life?" he asked between kisses.

"We always want more that what we have, that's human nature I guess." Dean his lips moving down to suck at the base of the Angel's jaw, his breath tickling Cas's neck and making the Angel squirm with delight.

Cas twirled the rumpled bedsheets between his fingers as he stretched his neck to once side allowing Dean's heavenly lips more access - yes heavenly was definitely the only was Cas could think to describe them. "So what happens now?" he asked.

Dean drew back and grinned at Cas. "More of last night I hope." he smiled at pressing a kiss to his collar bone. "But I don't know about you Angel's but we mere mortals need a little sustenance after so exerting so much energy, so my priority right now is breakfast and coffee." he said sliding off Cas and sitting up on the edge of the bed.

"More of last night certainly sounds wonderful Dean." Cas replied propping himself up onto his elbows. "But I was thinking more long term." he explained. "Hannah has requested that I return to Heaven, now that I have my Grace and my wings back in order I could be a soldier once more." he told him.

Dean's smile dropped instantly. "That's what you want?" he asked unable to hide the despair in his voice. Hadn't last night meant anything to him? Dean had laid his heart on the line, told Cas how he felt and he was just going to leave again? No, Dean couldn't handle that. He thought after everything that had been said between them that Cas would stay and hunt with him and Sam, live in the bunker … and just be with him, the two of them together.

"It was." Cas said sitting up and laying a hand over Dean's shoulder, over his own handprint because he knew that particular touch seemed to calm the Hunter. "I never wanted to be a leader, all I wanted was to be a soldier and when Heaven was restored I hope I could be that once more."

"Right, so when are you leaving then?" Dean asked roughly shaking off Cas's hand and getting up.

Castiel's eyes tracked across Dean's. "No you're mistaking me." he replied.

"Sounds like you've made your mind up." Dean replied gruffly as he grabbed a clean t-shirt from one of the dresser drawers and pulled in on over his head. "Just don't think you can just come popping down here every time you want a bit of action, I ain't gonna be your booty call you hear me? Angel or not, I won't be played. You either have me, _all of me,_ or nothing." he said grabbing a clean pair of sweatpants and tugging them on too. "So you'd better make damn sure you know what you want." he told him crossly. Dean knew he was being unfair and just lashing out in fear of losing Cas. Cas wasn't just an Angel, he was a warrior, duty was all he'd known for so long Dean knew he couldn't expect hm to just give that all up for him. He wasn't worth it. But Dean definitely wasn't going to admit he was wrong, he was far too stubborn for that.

Cas stared up at Dean, not quite sure what had happened … everything had been perfect only a moment ago. "Dean I want to stay here." he assured him.

Dean stared back at the Angel defiantly for a moment, but his shoulders sagged at the look of utter sincerity in the Cas's eyes but there was also a little hurt mixed into the blue too and knew he'd been unreasonable in jumping to conclusions. He was just so fucking scared of losing Cas now they'd finally found each other. "Cas …" he struggled. "Sorry, I -" he swallowed. "I push people away when I think I'm about to get hurt, I always have."

Cas chewed at his bottom lip for a moment but then smiled warmly up at Dean. "It's okay I understand, but believe me Dean I would like nothing more than to stay here with you and Sam, if you'll have me of course?" he asked.

Dean smirked a little. "I thought I'd already had you last night." he said sinking back down onto the bed when he assured himself that Cas wasn't going anywhere.

"Dean I'm being serious." Cas replied sternly, he knew Dean always turned to humour to avoid talking properly. "If I were to turn away from Heaven again this time it would have to be for good, it is not fair to the Angels left trying to rebuild after the fall to continue to tease them of a possibility of my return." Cas told him.

Dean swallowed realising what a big decision this was for the Angel. "Cas? You're sure that's what you want? To stay down here on Earth with me and Sam?" he asked. Surely Cas didn't think he was worth that?

Cas nodded quickly. "This is home after all."

Dean's eyes tracked across the Angel's and he could see no trace of doubt in his mind. "What if this doesn't work? What if _we_ don't work?"

Cas frowned and fixed Dean with puzzled blue eyes. "Why would we not work?" he asked as if it was the most absurd thing he'd ever heard.

Dean sighed and dropped his head down. "Because … well because I screw up everything good that ever happens to me; I don't want to screw us up Cas I really don't." he said with a shake of his head.

"Then don't." Cas replied simply.

Dean lifted his head and smiled slightly as he gazed into his Angel's innocent eyes. "You make it sound so easy." he sighed.

"It can be." Cas nodded encouragingly. "Dean, don't send me away. Don't send me back to Heaven. I need to be here with you. I _want_ to be here with you." he stressed.

Dean leant across the bed, slid his hand around Cas's neck, his thumb stroking down his jaw. "Cas I want you to stay too." he said pressing a kiss to his lips to reassure him. "I just want you to be sure, I still can't quite believe that you want to be with me."

"I do and I am sure so it's settled." Cas replied firmly, his tone indicating that he would not take no for an answer. "I want you, all of you." he added, quoting Dean's earlier words.

Dean chuckled, realising how stupid he'd been to let fear and paranoia rule him. He was lucky to have Cas who saw through all that bullshit. "God I love you." he said pulling the Angel close and hugging him tightly; the words came a hell of a lot easier every time he said them and he knew slowly the wall of defence he'd built up around himself was starting to crumble.

"Dean I don't think this is really the appropriate time to be expressing your love for my father." Cas replied in a whisper.

Dean rolled his eyes knowing at some point he'd have to explain the contextual use of the Lord's name to Cas again. But not now, because his stomach was growling and wouldn't ignored any longer. He sighed happily as he pressed a kiss to the Angel's temple before pulling away. "I'm going to go eat, come through when you're ready – you can borrow some clothes." he told him as he pointed to the drawer he'd just taken clothes out of himself, Cas nodded and with that Dean slipped off the bed.

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"Cas! You're back!" Sam cried jumping up from the table, heading over and hugging his friend when he appeared in the kitchen doorway. "And you look good!" he said holding him at arms length so he could look him up and down. "Does this mean you're back?" he asked. He couldn't help but notice Cas was wearing Dean's clothes, the black AC/DC t-shirt oddly seemed to suit him although it was a little on the large side.

"Yes I have recovered from the fall, my wings and Grace are intact and as strong as ever." Cas replied with a nod and a smile.

"Wow, when did you get back? Just now?" Sam asked enthusiastically. Truth be told he was ecstatic to see the Angel, he was just what they needed right now. What Dean needed, the Mark was really getting him down and he was spending far too much time cooped up in his room for Sam's liking.

"No actually I -" Cas stopped and glanced up at Dean unsure what to say.

Dean got up and laid his hand on Cas's shoulder reassuringly. "He got back last night." he said giving Cas's shoulder a squeeze. Cas smiled at Dean before he turned to Sam and nodded.

"Oh." Sam said glancing from Cas to Dean and back to Cas again, unable to ignore the change in the both of them, they both looked so relaxed and happy, and this pleased Sam immensely because it had been such a long time since he'd seen Dean truly happy. "That's … well that's great, really great." he enthused. "Well Cas it really is good to see you back to your usual self." Sam said sinking into the chair opposite him at the table, grinning when he spotted a purple bruise just showing out from the edge of his shirt collar. The Angel of course could have healed himself, so clearly he wore the marks with pride.

Dean headed across the kitchen and began preparing the morning coffee. Sam noticed Cas's eyes followed his brother around the room, looking even more lovesick than usual and a small peaceful smile had settled on his lips. Dean was also in an exceptionally good mood too, whistling happily as he set up the coffee machine. Something really had happened between them Sam realised, but he knew he had couldn't ask Dean outright - he had to let him take this at his own pace. "So Cas what happened while you were away?" he asked.

Dean sat down and pushed a mug of coffee toward both Sam and Cas. "Yeah you owe me that story too." he added smiling at the Angel sitting opposite him.

Sam couldn't help but smirk – there clearly hadn't been much room for talking upon Cas's arrival last night then. God he wanted to say something, to tease his brother and the Angel but he remained quiet; he didn't want to give Dean a reason to retreat any further back into his closet.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After Cas had finished telling his tale, he got up and looked at Dean. "I need to go and see Hannah." he told him, his voice heavy with regret. "I'd rather get this over with sooner rather than later."

Dean nodded; he sucked in a deep breath and gave Cas a confident smile even though he was pretty sure Hannah would blow her lid when she found out Cas wasn't going back to Heaven with her - Dean knew she had a thing for Cas and couldn't help but feel a little twinge of possessiveness at the thought of it even though he knew he was no threat to him. Cas had chosen him over her once before and Dean knew he would again, he always would. "Okay, do you want me to come with you?" he asked offering Cas some back up, but a part of him also wouldn't mind seeing Hannah's reaction when Cas told her why he was staying.

Sam just glanced between the two curiously wishing he knew what they were talking about – why did Cas need to go and see Hannah so urgently? He'd just arrived after all.

Cas shook his head at Dean's offer of backup. "No she isn't exactly your biggest fan it's best if I deal with this myself." he said with an apoplectic smile, he didn't want to offend Dean in anyway.

Dean just laughed. "Yeah I guessed as much." he replied. "And that's not going to get any better when you tell her, she'll blame me – think I've stolen you away from Heaven." he replied with a roll of his eyes. Cas sighed knowing it was probably true –he wasn't looking forward to the conversation that was for sure.

"Hang on what are you talking about?" Sam asked with a frown.

Cas glanced at Sam. "After my Grace and wings were restored Hannah requested that I return to Heaven and help her restore order there, but I have decided that I am staying here, with you and Dean."

Sam's eyebrows rose in surprise. "That's great! But Cas are you sure?" he asked knowing the Angel regarded his duty very highly.

Cas's eyes turn to rest on Dean's and he smiled. "Yes I'm sure." he said. "Hannah will only coerce me into leading again and that is not what I want, Heaven is better off without me and I am better off here. I want to be here, this is where I am needed and where I can make a difference." he said glancing again at Dean and smiling.

Out of the corner of his eye Sam saw the tight grip Dean had on his coffee mug relax – his brother was clearly worried that Cas would meet with Hannah and leave for Heaven with her. "Well that's great." he said getting up and hugging Cas again. "I'll get one of the rooms cleaned up for you."

Cas's eyes which were resting on Sam's swivelled to Dean's – unsure again as for what to say. Dean just shrugged his shoulders letting the Angel know it was his call. "Thank you Sam." Cas smiled nodding at the younger Winchester.

"No problem." Sam nodded. "I know you don't really need to sleep but it would still be nice for you to have your own space, your own room."

Cas nodded in agreement.

Dean coughed slightly. "Err Sammy you need to know something before Cas moves in here." he said his grip tightening around his mug again. "Cas … well he and I ..." he swallowed, struggling with the words and feeling the tips of his ears start to burn. He didn't know why it was so difficult since Sam seemed to know about his feelings for Cas before he even fully understood them himself.

Cas moved slightly closer to Dean but dare not touch him because he knew this was a delicate situation for him. Dean just glanced at Cas who smiled encouragingly. "The thing is ..." he said turning back to Sam.

"You're together." Sam said helping his brother out.

Dean let out the breath he'd been holding, sighing with the relief of it being out in the open. "Yeah." he nodded quickly. "Yeah." he breathed. "Yeah we are."

"Right … okay …" Sam said leaning back in his chair. "Wow." he said not quite able to believe that Dean had admitted this out loud, after so many years of bottling up his feelings he finally had taken that leap that Sam had been praying he would for the sake of his own happiness. "Okay, wow." he said sucking in a deep breath, still not quite able to believe it.

"You got a problem with that?" Dean asked going on the defensive.

"Dean." Cas warned, remembering what Dean had told him about pushing people away when he thought he was about to get hurt.

"No, no of course not!" Sam replied quickly. "I'm just happy you two have finally figured things out. Really Dean, I'm happy for you - both of you." he assured his brother.

Dean gazed down into his coffee mug a little embarrassed. "Thanks Sammy." he simply.

Cas dug his hands into his pockets, feeling he ought to say something. "Sam …" he started but trailed off not sure what to say.

Sam smiled up at Cas. "It's okay Cas you don't need to say anything, just know that if you ever hurt my brother I will not hesitate to shove an Angel blade right into your chest."

"Sam." Dean growled, protective of his Angel.

Sam turned to smile at Dean. "Relax Dean, you'd say something similar to any one I started seeing." he told him.

Dean couldn't deny this. "Well I'm the elder brother, it's my job to look out for you. And besides I have better taste then you." he said shoving his brother.

"I will never do anything to hurt Dean." Cas said hoping this would help matters as he'd mistakenly taken Sam's threat seriously. "And if I ever did I'd be the first in line to put a blade through my own heart."

Dean stilled. "Cas don't say things like that man." he said wincing at the thought of Cas doing something like that to himself. "We both know the only person that hurts me is me, but I'm working on that so nobody is stabbing nobody got that?" he said glaring at both Sam and Cas.

"Got it." Sam nodded.

"Cas?" Dean asked looking at him pointedly.

"Yes." Cas sighed and nodded.

Dean moved around the table and stopped in front of Cas. Sam couldn't help but peer up at them from his bowl as he continued to eat. "So you're going now?" Dean asked the Angel.

Cas nodded. "Better to go sooner rather than later." he replied sucking in a deep breath. He certainly did not want to face Hannah that was for sure.

"Come back soon as you can okay?" Dean said pulling him into a hug, his hand running over his shoulder when they broke apart. _"Don't leave me hanging like last time, I could hardly stand it."_ his eyes told Cas, he couldn't say the words out loud because Sam was sat grinning at them like an idiot and Dean didn't want him to think he'd turned into a complete lovesick sap.

Cas smiled and nodded. "I will Dean, I'll be back as soon as I can. To stay, for good?" he asked wanting to make sure Dean was completely sure.

Dean's nodded, his hand curling tighter around the Angel's shoulder. "For good." he nodded before letting him go and returning to his seat.

"Oh my God you two really are together." Sam said with a shake of his head after he'd watched them.

Dean rolled his eyes at his brother. "Sam you were the one who told me to go after Cas when he left last time remember?"

"I know I know but it's still a little weird seeing you actually _together_." Sam laughed. "It's going to take me a bit of time to process this."

Dean just sighed. "Whatever, just don't expect any PDA any time soon." he said shaking his head.

"Hardly." Sam replied knowing this was not his brother's style, Dean was a private person when it came to his feelings, sure he could be a real flirt when he wanted to be just like any other red-blooded male but … this thing with Cas … well that was different. And not because Cas was in a male vessel, or even because he was an Angel, but because this time it was real, Sam realised.

"Cas get your feathery ass back here asap okay?" Dean told Cas who was pulling on his trenchcoat; it didn't quite go with the t-shirt and sweatpants but it wasn't like Hannah was going to notice. Angel's only saw clothes for their practical purposes and had no sense of fashion.

Cas nodded and then disappeared in the blink of an eye.

"I'll have to get used to that again too." Sam said; it had been a long time since Cas was able to disappear anywhere.

Dean nodded in agreement. "Least it means he can get rid of that hideous car he's been riding around in." he replied grabbing he cereal box and digging his hand into his. Sam just chuckled in agreement. "No man o'mine is gonna show me up." he added just to wind his brother up - and it worked a treat as Sam almost choked on his cereal.

Sam glared at him as he gulped down some water to clear his throat and Dean grinned back knowing he was going to have some fun with Sam once Cas returned.


End file.
